Here is some help for a wardrobe fix for your closet.
Going through a divorce really does a job on a woman’s self esteem. Some of us give up on our looks for awhile because even trying to look good can be exhausting. Well, don’t wallow too long in self-pity because some of us will get lost and may never come out. Some of us have the mentality that since we feel bad we may as well look that way too. There’s nothing wrong with spending a day being lazy, but if that day grows into two or three and a week, you need to stop that and get back into living.
People will judge you on your appearance and if they say they don’t then their lying. You need to boost your self esteem by starting to take pride again in how you look. Nobody say’s you have to be model perfect, or spend hours in front of a mirror, but taking pride in your appearance again will help you to get back some of the self confidence that you lost during your divorce.
Here are some helpful ways for you to get back into life and back into caring about how you look. Maybe it’s time to go shopping for some new clothes. Doing that alone should help you feel better. I’m no expert when it comes to clothes so I found some expert advice on divorce.com and an article written by Diana Shepherd. This is what she has to say about getting on with your life and looking good doing it.
Get a Haircut
The first thing to do that is a good ego booster is to get a good haircut. You need to get a cut for the way you look now. It doesn’t matter if you may have put on a bit of weight going through your divorce; a good haircut has the potential to make you look good at any weight.
If you don’t have a hairstylist in mind, ask a girlfriend who she trusts. It is advised to talk to the owner or manager of the shop because he or she will have the most experience on what types of styles would be good for you. Some good questions to ask them before he/she cuts your hair is: How long have you been cutting hair, and how long have you been with this particular salon. They should have no problems answering your questions and if they do them maybe you should look somewhere else. This is your new life that you are beginning and you want to don’t want a bad haircut to start off with.
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The hairdresser will take into consideration your type of hair (curly, straight, limp, fly-away, etc.) the shape of your face (round, oval, heart-shaped, thin, etc.), and your lifestyle (indoor or outdoor job, amount of time you’re willing and able to devote to styling your hair on a daily basis, etc.) before suggesting a style. Tell the stylist how much time you can spend on your hair every day. If you’re a busy single parent with a demanding job as well as kids, you need “wash-and-wear hair.” choosing a style that’s going to take 45 minutes to arrange, is not going to work for your busy schedule so do yourself a favor by getting something easy to take care of. Also, if you can’t afford to have your hair cut every six weeks, stay away from short styles. A good medium-length cut will look good as it’s growing out, so you can get away with four haircuts a year.
It’s a good idea to let the stylist work from beginning to end with your hair. Trying to save a little money by not having your hair styled afterwards is not a good idea; at least have your first cut styled so you know how to get the same look at home.
Once you have a great cut, take care of your hair by avoiding excessive blow-drying, damp combing, or curling — all of which can damage your hair.
Wasting money on expensive shampoo is like sending your money down the drain with the suds. Your hair is dead as soon as it grows out of the scalp, so products that claim to “feed or nourishes” your hair is really a waste of money. It’s suggested that if you want healthier hair than taking vitamins A, B6, B12, C, E, Beta Carotene, and Biotin will help more taken orally more than rubbing something on your hair. Expensive is not necessarily better, you should use a clarifying shampoo once a month to get rid of excess conditioner and styling product buildup. Now that we have taken care of your hair, lets move on to the wardrobe.
Out of the closet
If your spending 15 minuets everyday looking for something to wear, then it’s time to re-invent your closet. The first thing you need to do is organize your closet. This will take a good two or three hour, so give yourself plenty of time. Be ruthless with your clothes and start filling bags or boxes with stuff you haven’t worn for six months or more. These will go to Goodwill or some other organization that needs clothes. I’m sure since the hurricane there are many places in need of nice clothes. Filling these bags or boxes will also give your ego a boost because you know your helping someone else in dire need of what you have to give. Get rid of everything you know you will not wear, and if they don’t fit, or if there out of date, give them away, this includes shoes too. You will be buying clothes that fit the way you are today.
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A wardrobe that works
You should buy the best clothes you can afford because they will last for years. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t spend $200 on one jacket after my divorce. If the best you can do is buy a few things for this year, then that’s what you need to do. When your financial situation gets a little better in the next year or two, then you can buy better clothes. Try to do the best you can with what you have at this time. Target and K-Mart have really nice business clothes that won’t set you back, and nobody needs to know were you buy your clothes unless you tell them.
Buy clothes that fit you, don’t buy them too small or tight, (in hopes that your going to loose that weight), or clothes that are too big and hang on you, (to hide that you have gained weight). Doing this only makes you look heavier than you really are.
These next couple of pages will help you pick out the things you need for work and play according to what you do and where you live. Remember to treat yourself with kindness because you have been going through a really emotional time. Don’t beat yourself up if you have put on a few pounds because it happens to the best of us. I personally became friends with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream for a couple of months and I’m still trying to loose the weight I gained from my divorce. Try not to let it consume your life and get out there. Get a great haircut, buy some great clothes and you will see an immediate improvement.
These are the suggestions by Diana Shepherd, I didn’t change too much because I need all the help I can get when it comes to clothes and what looks good with what. I did happen to take her advice, and I went clothes shopping myself. Wearing the clothes that fit right will do wonders for your self image, so don’t wait too long to go shopping. I have an appointment for the haircut though. I haven’t been to a beauty salon for almost two years now, so I really need it.
The Basics are the clothes you’ll wear every day. You should love them, they should be comfortable and easy-care, and you should feel confident that you look great wearing them. If you don’t know which styles flatter your particular body type, pick up a book such as Presenting Yourself: A Personal Image Guide by Mary Spillane
Pants should be comfortable, but not sloppy. Choose a washable fabric that holds its shape (check out the wrinkle-free, tailored pants that you can find at most department stores).
Wear the crisp white cotton shirt to work with your suit or you can wear it with a skirt, or with jeans for a casual but classy look. Make sure it’s made of good-quality, washable cotton, and that the style is simple for easy ironing.
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You look marvelous!
Be realistic about what an attractive appearance can do for you. It won’t make you happy or successful in life or in love. What it can do is give you a little extra self-confidence, which might be the boost you need to get into action somewhere you’ve been stopped — whether that’s looking for a new job or a new relationship.
Because divorce is such a taxing experience, anything you can do to lower your stress is a good thing. Drugs and alcohol really are not stress relievers, so do things more natural and healthy. With these tips, you will be able to get up in the morning, going right to the closet already having something to wear in mind, a quick shower, a little make up, and you are on your way, looking and feeling great to face your day.
a jacket in your Basic Color (black, brown, or navy)
two skirts (one long, one short) in your Basic Color
a pair of pants in your Basic Color
a white cotton shirt (or two)
a silky blouse
a simple all-purpose dress in your Basic Color (dress it up with faux pearls for a night out, or wear it under a jacket at work)
two turtlenecks or long-sleeved T-shirts, one white and one in your Basic Color
a couple of plain, round-necked cotton T-shirts in white
one pair of flat shoes in your Basic Color
one pair of medium-heel (an inch and a half to two inches) pumps in your Basic Color
one good purse in your Basic Color
one good leather belt in your Basic Color
pantyhose and socks in your Basic Color, and skin-toned pantyhose
jeans, sweaters, shorts, sneakers, swimsuits, sportswear etc. to suit your needs and lifestyle two vests: one in your Basic Color, and one in a color you love and/or a print.
The lengths of the skirts will depend on your body type and where you’re going to be wearing them. If you’re buying them primarily for work, one above the knee and one below the knee will probably be best. If you go out frequently to evening functions, your long skirt should be 3/4 or ankle length. Again, both these skirts should be plain, well-cut, and the style should flatter your body type.
You’ll also need one silky (perhaps real silk) blouse for evening wear or dressy events. Most silk or silky fabrics can be hand-washed without a problem; think twice about a blouse that absolutely requires dry-cleaning. For me, it’s a waste of time and money to be lugging shirts to the dry-cleaner on a regular basis, so I usually pass on anything I can’t wash myself.
A word about undergarments: if you’ve never done it, now’s the time to visit a specialty boutique and have an experienced salesperson help you find a bra that really fits you. I thought all bras were monstrously uncomfortable until a knowledgeable sales assistant showed me that I was wearing the wrong style and size (these are very common mistakes). And as for panties, I suggest you buy one pair a size larger than you normally would (most panties are sized much smaller than regular clothes). Take them home and wear them, and if they’re comfortable (and don’t “ride up” or bind your legs or tummy), go back and buy another six pairs in white, black, and skin-tone. You can also buy extra panties in a color you love; if hot-pink makes you feel happy and brave, by all means buy some hot-pink panties!
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